If Only, (Second Chance)

Sitting here, wide awake,
  Thinking of the ways things could have been,
If I just would have told you how I feel.
  If only we could rewind and go back then.

Sitting on the rocks, my arm around you,
  You felt so bad, my insides were all up-side down.
If I had just spit it out and let my heart take control,
  But I denied myself and didn't make a sound.

Rubbing your back, trying to tell you through my hands,
  You were so caught up in what he did to you,
You never saw me, a whispering wind that wouldn't reach your ears,
  If only we could go back, I know what I'd do.

I'd take you hands in mine,
  Turn your face to me, eyes together.
Run my hand through your hair as I build up the courage.
  I'd bring you close and tell you everything.

Now as I sit here, at the desk, not the rocks,
  Alone, not with you, I see how much you've been through
Runnin' my hand through my hair, wondering what I should say
  If I ever get a second chance, out on the rocks, alone, to sit with you.

Ugh. I must be having writer's block, cuz I really Really want to write a poem right now but I just can't get it to come out in the way I want it to. Actually makes me kinda up-set! I want to express that I am feeling confused and lost in my emotional life right now. I want to say that I wish some people would just stop being so hard to understand. I want to write that I wish God would just explain things to me, but I can't. If God told us how things were going to end up and where we will be at the end of the day, then there really would be no such thing as free-will!

Remember the way things used to be? When we were little children and everything took care of it's self, or so we thought. When the smallest things seemed like our world and when they fell apart so did we. When we loved the people that we loved with a real passionate love. When if we didn't like something we forgot it or left it behind us. Where it didn't matter what religion you were or what church you went to, or if you even went at all. When we looked at the world with wonder and amazment, and yet still thought nothing of it. When we dreamed we could be anything we ever wanted and truly believed that. When believing in something wasn't as hard and when you just trusted people from a inside feeling. Remember when life meant so much and you cried when your dog got ran over or your cat got carried off by some creature? 
  If only we could live this life with that kind of passion about things and value each other's life as much as we did then, but at the same time not worry about what tomorrow might bring. Unfortunately, we can't really live life as a dream and be in our own little world as we were then. We must grow up mentally and morally as our bodies grow physically. In order for us to grow propperly we must have struggles and problems that we have to over come. Just as a soldier trains for battle and is faced with symulated problems of the real thing, we are face with daily trials to give us the "training" we need to succeed at this life and survive everything that this life throws at us.
  "Everything happens for a reason, nothing is left to chance." We all have heard this statement at least once, most of us have heard it over and over, and some of us actually believe it. As long as we believe that God is in control of our lives and that He know what's going to happen before it does, then this statement is conpletely true. If it is true, then everything that happens is there to give more "training" to build our character and give us more "tools" in our "toolbox".
   

Well...I guess God has His reasons for doing the things He does. Actually, I know he does. It's just that when someone dies for no apparent reason, I can't help but wonder why and what He's got planned.
   Yes, someone died. Someone I loved dearly. Her name was Charity Maslowski and she was one of my favorite cousins. She lived what she believed and always had a great attitude toward life even when things looked bad or just seemed to go wrong. Of course she had her bad days, we all do, but I don't remember her holding a grudge against anyone for more than a few minutes. She loved animals almost as much as she loved her boy-friend. Horses were her thing and she knew how to work with them and had a way of knowing what they needed.
  A few months ago I went down to Arizona to visit her and the rest of the family. The entire time I was down there I kept asking God why He wanted me there. I honestly had no idea why I was down there. Now I know. It was so that I could be with my family while they were happy and enjoying life as it was and to say goodbye to her, in more than one way.
  God always has His plans and they always work out for the good of those who trust in Him. It is a very sad thing that my cousin has gone on, but I see now that God knows what's right for us all.

  I love you Charity and I always will.                                        Sincerly, Gabriel T. Short 

Wolves, Misunderstood

Wolves are amazing creatures. Since I can remember I have envied the wolves power and yet it can be so calm at times. Their wisdom and instincts, telling them just what they need to do in order to survive. I have longed for their forever enduring energy that keeps them running for miles and miles in the worst of weather and conditions.
  I feel whenever I look into a wolves eye, live or photo, that they have a very keen sense of understanding and they can feel our human emotions and react to them. Without utering a sound, without moving any muscles other than their face, they can express just how they feel and what they want. Usually they can do this just throught their eyes.
  Some believe that the wolf can give strength and courage to thoses who ask for it. This may not be true in the physical sense of the idea, but for me, seeing how this great canine family keep going even when everything is against them, builds the mental, emotional, and spiritual strength and courage to push onward.
  Wolves also have a very agresive and brutal side. This is the idea most people see in their mind when they hear or see a wolf. Stories about wolves hunting, killing domestic animals and sometimes, (althought extemely rare), attacking a human. Poeple who don't understand wolves call this "angry" and "mean" unnecessary actions on the wolf's part. First of all these two words are not correctly descibling their intenions, because;  The word "mean" 's definion is: Causing or intending to cause intentional harm in  anger. Wolves can't not be "mean" simply because they cannot be angry. They cannot be angry because they do not express emotions through physical actions. Wolves may attack and prey upon domestic animals simply because they, (the Domestic animal), are an easy "lunch". There are also the "mass killings of domestic animals and the attacks on humans to explain. These still are not "mean" actions. They are necessary as far as the wolves is conserned. He is just trying to survive. His instincts tell him to kill-off or ellimimate the competition. Therefore, when there is a mass killing, he is trying to get rid of his enimies' food sorce. At this he is very efficient at.
  When a wolf confronts/attacks a human, this is also not "meanness" or "angry". There are several reasons for this and they are deppend on the situation. Maybe the situation is a little boy in the front yard of his house gets mauled and left there or hauled off, for example. A couple of reasons this happened are; 1. The wolf in particular was out hunting and the boy was easy prey. 2. The wolf was prowling his territory and found the there were unwanted intruders. Or, 3. maybe he was expanding his territory and was willing to put up a fight to do so, however the boy was easly overcome and he has gotten a greater area of hunting grounds.
  All of these are quallity explaniations for the wolves' actions and prove that he is not a "mean" animal full of hate for every other living entity, but rather a powerful creature just trying to live and survive. The wolf is one of God's more wonderful and beautiful creations set on this earth so that we can study and enjoy them.

 

So, It's been three weeks since I started school here at the Falls. Everything is going good. Had to change some classes, but I think now I have an idea of what I am going to take next quarter. I have to take Math 94 or 96, and then I am going to take an art class, a cross-training, (that I am taking now), a science, (not real sure what yet), and maybe a Army ROTC.
  The class that I enjoy the most right now is my soccer class! It is so good and fun! I really want to play soccer next year and this class is teaching me the techniques that I didn't have! Already I can see inprovement in myself, which is usually very difficult.
  The class I dislike the most is my computer class. It is a course learning about the word prossesor WORD and how to use it to the fullest. It has it's high points, like being able to right a proffessional Business plan or the like, but for the most part I don't like it.

Always Here

You worry where I'll be,
  Don't shed for me a tear.
No matter what happens,
  I'll always be here.

Right here next to you,
  It doesn't matter where.
When you feel you're alone,
  I'll always be there.

Just because you can't see me,
  I can see you through the mirror,
The sky, the trees, through beautiful things
  I'll always be here.

So when my body has died,
  Corrupted by the years,
Read this again and
  I'll always be there.

Hug it tight, it'll keep you warm.
  Put it to your face, I'll nibble your ear,
Tell me everything, I'll listen cuz,
  I'm always here.

Emotional Rollercoaster

It's not hard and yet it is
  These feelings to explain.
Happy, yet sad,
  Some kind of pain.

Feelings of love,
  Feelings of fear.
Feelings of losing
  Someone dear.

Calmness fills me
  To overflow.
Reasurence guides me,
  Tells me where to go.

An arm around me
  To stop my fall,
A hand held out
  When I've given my all.

Someone there to live for,
  Strength to face tomorrow.
Someone there to die for,
  Comfort in time of sorrow.

Life....

Life is like a hiking trail
You don't know where it goes
You can make up ideas and dreams, but
No one really knows

A narrow path, it winds around
Steep, and Dirty, and Rough
but no matter how hard, no matter how far
These trails will just make you tough.

So blindly foward we go
Through the swamp and trees
Broken hearts and spiritual pain
Will bring many to their knees

A fork in the trail, a decision to make
As to where you want to go
There's no turning back, no shortcuts to take
And nobody to follow.

Don't think about yesterday,
Don't look at your dust.
Keep your focus ahead
And give God your trust.

By Gabriel T. Short

A Lesson Learned

A young boy once asked, "What must I do
To become a man." Then a voise said,
"Always be honest, Strive to be true."
"what is meant," the boy queeried,"by what you just said?"

"Be strong for the weaker,
Brave for the frightened.
Be an answer for the seeker,
A student unto the learned.
Be bold for the shy;
A voise for the silent.
Be joy for those who cry,
Forgivness for those who resent.
Be wisdom for the foolish,
And youth for the old.
Be love for the hatefull,
And wamth for the cold."

"Warmth for the cold," the young man repeated,
As he helped a poor crippled boy get out of the cold.
"What?" asked the little boy, puzzled at the man's kindness.
"Oh," said the man I was just thinking
Of the life lesson that I have been told.

All White Picture

The clock ticks slowly,
  Shaving the hours away.
Soon the sun will rise
  On a brand new day.

It's the time before the dawn,
  All is dark, all is cold.
A glaze of ice has coved the pond,
  All has changed, the new becomes old.

Finally the sky gets lighter,
  A ray shines through the trees.
Once again the world lives, and
  Crystal flakes, carried on the breeze.

A "full color" picture turns "black and white".
  The cold cotton blanket steadily grows.
Though the sun's in the sky, the tempiture stays low.
 Winter is here once more, with it's shimmers and glows.